12 Horrible Baby Shower Gifts and Invitations

Okay, seriously, I love alcohol, but I would never hand out custom shotglasses at a baby shower.There is no such thing as a “funny” gag gift. There are only gag gift boxes with GOOD gifts inside. And, this is critical, the only GOOD gifts are ones from the dang registry, how hard is it to follow a party invite with ONE instruction! I’m so mad I could just scream at a pregnant woman’s closest friends. Check out these 12 weird/bad baby shower gifts and invitations:

Baby Hangar

This is actually a bit practical, but it tells the recipient, “your baby is no better than a door knocker, as far as I’m concerned”

Baby shoots and giggles

Pro tip: You can just say a funny phrase at a baby shower. It’s this new type of thing I’ve invented called a “joke.” You don’t have to give them an article of clothing they will never wear in public and, thanks to Goodwill’s wide distribution network, will eventually end up on a baby in a third world country.

Baby Shower Alcohols

Ever been a designated driver, and had to be the only sober one at an alcohol-fueled party full of increasingly-annoying people? For pregnant women, that is every single time they are at any event with alcohol

Baby Shower Beer Bottles

Just what every pregnant mom needs! Six plastic tubes for her garbage can

Baby Shower Boob beanie

I find it offensive that the Asian one is smallest

Come on. I’m not even going to make a joke here, this is so inappropriate

Baby Shower Grill

An amazingly great gift… for someone who has been gestating since 2007 when grills were cool and funny

Baby Shower Shot Glasses

Let’s all get hammered and have a good time while Pamela/Stephanie sits there feeling bloated

Baby Shower Skeet Shoot

Diaper, booze, ammo, and a gun? Kinda feels like that’s a lot of gifts

Baby Shower Wine Glasses

More drinking! Except for the pregnant mom! Number one cause of
pre-partum depression [source needed]

In my younger days, I made beer. It’s made by having a fungus eat sugar and poop out the product. Don’t refer to your baby as beer

Good bras are expensive. Don’t get the expectant mom all excited by making her think you got a real bra, then just reveal its some purple undergarment for men, and a bad gag

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