“Look What You Made Me Do,” the new Taylor Swift video, shattered records for most watched video in the first two days of release. That brings out a lot of the crazies, and rest assured I’M ON THE CASE!
In this case, the abuser is Taylor. The victim is also Taylor
In honor of Taylor Swift, I suggested the name “Red”
I’m not hip, so fill me in: Is “Listening to Taylor Swift” now slang for doing methamphetamines?
Counterpoint: This is a 21st century version of 17th century Dutch painting, except the lampposts are all Spaghettios and other pompous nonsense
You don’t get to just hashtag any random thing. That doesn’t get you hits, dummies. Actually, it made me put this up, which got it hits. Whoa, these people are geniuses
Is she sure that the photo ruined her friendship with Cooper, and not, “shamlessly using details of their relationship to popularize tweets while simultaneously piggybacking off an unrelated Taylor Swift song?”
Oh wow, Taylor should warn people if her videos are causing long term memory loss
It’s like the drunk who everyone ignores in the sports bar, except now the drunk has wandered into a teenage girl slumber party looking to talk about Cardinal football
This tweet will undoubtedly be presented as evidence in a court hearing, someday
FYI, “Janis” is a NFL football player of NO SIGNIFICANCE
Debate Club Tip: Always hammer home your argument by using the S-Word at least 6 times
My floors are covered in autographs, too: I have twin four-year-olds who just learned how to write their names
And also, what happened to the price of candy? Little children have such little left in their budget after expenses, as is!
Why can’t you just say “my most played song right now is Look What You Made Me Do?” Ohhhh, right, because you are doing a not-so-subtle brag about having a significant other
My favorite part of these agonizing steps is “if you don’t want to listen to it just plug in headphones.” If you don’t want to listen to her song, maybe you should actually take control of your life and, you know, listen to another song