15 Weird Reactions to Taylor Swift’s New Single

“Look What You Made Me Do,” the new Taylor Swift video, shattered records for most watched video in the first two days of release. That brings out a lot of the crazies, and rest assured I’M ON THE CASE! 

Abusers

In this case, the abuser is Taylor. The victim is also Taylor

Big League Chew

In honor of Taylor Swift, I suggested the name “Red”

Cleaning

I’m not hip, so fill me in: Is “Listening to Taylor Swift” now slang for doing methamphetamines?

Dutch Painting

Counterpoint: This is a 21st century version of 17th century Dutch painting, except the lampposts are all Spaghettios and other pompous nonsense

Hockey Autographs

You don’t get to just hashtag any random thing. That doesn’t get you hits, dummies. Actually, it made me put this up, which got it hits. Whoa, these people are geniuses

Kathy Griffin

Is she sure that the photo ruined her friendship with Cooper, and not, “shamlessly using details of their relationship to popularize tweets while simultaneously piggybacking off an unrelated Taylor Swift song?”

Life without it

Oh wow, Taylor should warn people if her videos are causing long term memory loss

Louisville

It’s like the drunk who everyone ignores in the sports bar, except now the drunk has wandered into a teenage girl slumber party looking to talk about Cardinal football

Love is real

This tweet will undoubtedly be presented as evidence in a court hearing, someday

PAckers trade

FYI, “Janis” is a NFL football player of NO SIGNIFICANCE

s word

Debate Club Tip: Always hammer home your argument by using the S-Word at least 6 times

Signed Floor

My floors are covered in autographs, too: I have twin four-year-olds who just learned how to write their names

Teen Girl

And also, what happened to the price of candy? Little children have such little left in their budget after expenses, as is!

Tinder Shazaam

Why can’t you just say “my most played song right now is Look What You Made Me Do?” Ohhhh, right, because you are doing a not-so-subtle brag about having a significant other

Work Together

My favorite part of these agonizing steps is “if you don’t want to listen to it just plug in headphones.” If  you don’t want to listen to her song, maybe you should actually take control of your life and, you know, listen to another song

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