14 Obnoxious T-Shirts that Make Very Chilly Icebreakers

“Hey I’m too stupid to meet people and pick up dates. Maybe I need an obnoxious shirt? YES! That is what’s missing from my otherwise sterling personality,” thinks the target audience for the following 14 dumb shirts. Speaking of which, all of these shirts are available on Amazon, if you want to buy them.

are you drunk

A great way to turn off women and not get served at any bar

Beer fat

Who needs a smooth opening line, when you could just declare “I think you’re fat”

Bill Cosby

I don’t get where the tacos come in. I also don’t get where the rape jokes come in, but let’s unpack this one thing at a time


I’ve never been so confused nor offended. If your shirt doesn’t make sense to me sober, it’s not going to make more sense as people drink


A great way to engage in staring contests with strangers

Cos drinks

Save yourself $24.97: Get a white T-Shirt and write “I might be a rapist” using watercolors made from your own tears


I don’t get it. Probably because I don’t drink enough fluids

Drunk wives

This is almost as loud and obnoxious as most wedding rings, which also say the same thing

Fat Girls

“Why won’t women pay attention to me? It must be because I’m not objectifying them enough”

Fat people kidnap

I don’t really get this one. However, walking up to someone and saying “fat people are harder to kidnap,” might be a decent icebreaker, sometimes

Lawyer aids

Check out the search term I used to find this shirt about dads and lawyers


I feel like this is a good way to get in a fight. If that’s how you meet potential sex partners, then this shirt is a good ticket

Sexual harassment

A great shirt for generating inevitable lawsuits

Too big

There should also be a checked box labeled, “complete ignorance to the workings of sexual anatomy”



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